Did you lose weight? Nah, my responsibilities have stretched me a little thin.

One of the wonderful things about motherhood is the way it can turn even the most everyday circumstances into an opportunity to overwhelm you with guilt. I am no exception.

Until very recently I've always had schedules with a fair amount of flexibility but not anymore. I started a new job in early August that's full-time weekdays. Since I'm a n00b I have no wiggle room in my schedule, no sick or vacation time until after 90 days. Any wiggle room others might have I don't, because my husband works for the same company in a different contract and they've accommodated us with opposite schedules so we don't have to put the girls in daycare. With n00b status comes the overwhelming desire to prove myself to be a valued employee of my company. Part of this is not missing any time.

Since we're new to the area there are a plethora of appointments for my kids right now and one of them has ADD and PTSD which of course mean more doctors and more appointments. Dentist appointments, orthodontist evaluations, IEP meetings, home visits for preschool, psychologist, counselor, regular doctor's visits and a bunch I can't even think of right now.

Some things Hubby can handle, others require my attention because I'm the mom. I feel torn in so many different directions it's like I'm on the rack or something.

Other people seem to juggle this with ease while I feel like I'm in The Hunger Games and each district has offered up a doctor, dentist or teacher as tribute and my job's playing Gamemaker trying to bring us into conflict. If I manage to kill everyone the Gamemaker will reward me by letting me live and continue to be a productive employee while sacrificing the welfare of my children. If I don't kill everyone and instead make an alliance with them to go to all of the kids appointments the Gamemaker will get angry and attack me with things like balls of flame or tracker jackers or until I either die or get fired and fail my kids by not being able to support them. See? It's a die/die situation!

Where the hell are my berries?!