The Crumb Diaries:
With 'Stand up to Cancer' on every channel, and Mary Tyler Mom doing the radiothon today, cancer has kind of been the theme of the day. I've heard a lot of people share their cancer stories.
Many survivors and families have made comments like "cancer picked the
wrong person to mess with" or "I wasn't going to stop fighting for my
child".." my child is tough as nails"
Ok I GET this. I really,
truly do. My mother has gone through 18 yrs of cancer. Double
mastectomy. Reconstruction. Tons and tons of chemotherapy. Radiation.
Months and months of recovery - and all of the emotional damage that
comes along with it.
My younger
sister - my only sibling - has been dealing with thyroid cancer for 12
yrs. Surgeries. Radiation. Constant changes in medication. A pregnancy
in early diagnosis that she risked her life to carry to term.
I
GET that we want to say these things. I wouldn't give up on them. They
are fighters....but what does this say to/about families who've lost
their fight? They weren't fighting? People gave up on them?
Cancer SUCKS period. Fight/don't fight - circumstances can change an outcome in a heartbeat.
DysFUNctionally Blended:
My mother died of cancer
when I was only 17. My sisters were 15 and 12. She fought and thought
she won, only for cancer to rear its ugly head again a year away from
being medically 'cancer free.' That last time, as I snuggled with her in
bed, she told me she was tired of fighting and that my sisters and I
were the only reason she kept on. I remember the last time I saw her
able to somewhat carry a conversation. I told her that it was ok to let
go, that my sisters and I would be alright. We wouldn't be alright at
all, but that's another story.
The fact is my mother fought with
everything she had. She gave cancer quite a struggle to finally lay
claim to her body, but it never claimed her spirit. That is what it
means to me to say that you're fighting, that you're tough and cancer
isn't going to 'get' you. It has little to do with the body and
everything to do with the spirit. My mom had her days where she cried
and felt sorry for herself, for her children. There were days where
cancer won, but even more where my mom triumphed and shined. Those days,
the days with smiles and laughter behind tired and weak eyes, those
days far outnumber the others.
My mom fought. My mom died. That
doesn't mean my mom didn't win. Even in death her spirit was shining
through, that's something cancer will never take.
My younger sister - my only sibling - has been dealing with thyroid cancer for 12 yrs. Surgeries. Radiation. Constant changes in medication. A pregnancy in early diagnosis that she risked her life to carry to term.
I GET that we want to say these things. I wouldn't give up on them. They are fighters....but what does this say to/about families who've lost their fight? They weren't fighting? People gave up on them?
Cancer SUCKS period. Fight/don't fight - circumstances can change an outcome in a heartbeat.
The fact is my mother fought with everything she had. She gave cancer quite a struggle to finally lay claim to her body, but it never claimed her spirit. That is what it means to me to say that you're fighting, that you're tough and cancer isn't going to 'get' you. It has little to do with the body and everything to do with the spirit. My mom had her days where she cried and felt sorry for herself, for her children. There were days where cancer won, but even more where my mom triumphed and shined. Those days, the days with smiles and laughter behind tired and weak eyes, those days far outnumber the others.
My mom fought. My mom died. That doesn't mean my mom didn't win. Even in death her spirit was shining through, that's something cancer will never take.
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